What Is Self-Esteem and Why Does It Matter?
“Self-esteem is a term we hear used frequently, but what does it really mean, and why is it so important?”
At it’s core self-esteem refers to how you perceive your own worth and value. It shapes the way we interact with the world, how we approach challenges, and how we treat ourselves in times of wins and failures.
When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel confident in your abilities and worthy of joy. You will view failures as opportunities to learn and grow, without belittling yourself. When you have low self-esteem, you may struggle to find happiness or feel undeserving of good things in your life.
As an Integrative Therapist, I often see how deeply low self-esteem can impact relationships, work, and emotional health. It is more than just a personal issue, it is a lens which you see all aspects of your life. For example, a client might come to me for help with anxiety, only to recognise that their fears are rooted in negative self-perception. By improving self-esteem, we can address these challenges at their root.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the overall sense of personal worth or value. It is the foundation upon which you build self-love, self-acceptance and self-compassion. The way you view yourself influences your thoughts, behaviours, and emotional responses in everyday situations.
There are two main types of self-esteem:
Healthy Self-Esteem
This is when you value yourself based on your intrinsic worth, not external validation. You acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses and accept them as part of who you are. With healthy self-esteem you feel comfortable setting boundaries, celebrating your successes, and embracing your imperfections.
Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem often comes from self-doubt , harsh self-criticism, and a negative self-image. If you have low self-esteem you may feel unworthy of love, success, or even basic respect. You may also fear rejection or failure, often shying away from challenges due to a belief that you won't be good enough.
Common Signs of Low Self-Esteem:
Self Doubt
Constantly questioning your decisions and abilities, feeling unsure about your choices.
Negative Self-Talk
Inner dialogues filled with criticism “I’m not good enough”, or “I don’t deserve this”.
Fear of Failure
An intense fear that holds you back from trying new things, even when they align with your goals.
Difficulty Accepting Compliments
When someone praises you, you feel uncomfortable or unworthy, and even down play the compliment.
People Pleasing
Always seeking approval from others, often at the expense of your own needs and desires.
Why Does it Matter?
Impact on Emotional Wellbeing
Low self-esteem can severely affect your emotional health. Individuals with low self-esteem often struggle with anxiety, depression, and stress because they internalise negative beliefs about themselves. These beliefs can manifest as feelings of hopelessness, excessive worry, or fear of judgement. These individuals may feel that they are not enough, which can create a cycle of self-doubt and emotional turmoil.
When you have a strong sense of self-worth, you can cope more effective with stress, setbacks, and disappointment. You are able to face challenges with confidence and resilience, knowing that your value is not tied to the outcome.
Impact on Decision Making and Life Satisfaction
Self-esteem influences how you approach decisions in life. When you believe in your worth, you are more likely to make choices that align with your values and well-being. You trust your judgement and are willing to take calculated risks.
On the other hand when self-esteem is low, decision making can become clouded by fear, insecurity, and a lack of trust in yourself. You may avoid making important decisions or allow others to dictate your choices, fearing that your opinion does not matter or that you will make the wrong choice.
Low self-esteem can also lead to a lack of fulfilment and dissatisfaction in life. When you do not feel worthy of good things, you may settle for less than you truly deserve. With healthy self-esteem, you are more likely to seek out opportunities for growth, happiness, and fulfilment.
How to Start Improving Self-Esteem
Improving your self-esteem is a journey that takes time and effort, but the results are worth it. Here are some self-reflection questions you can ask yourself to get you started:
What do I truly value about myself? (What do you bring to the world that no one else does? What are your unique qualities? Write a list of postive attributes that make you who you are.)
What have I accomplished that I am proud of? (Acknowledge your wins, both big and small. Celebrating your achievements, no matter how small they seem, reinforces your mental health.)
How do I speak to myself when I make a mistake? (Notice the way you talk to yourself when things do not go to plan for you. Are you kind and understanding, or do you criticise and berate yourself? Self-compassion is key to building self-esteem.)
How can I start setting boundaries in my life? (Reflect on areas where you might be people-pleasing or saying “yes” when you should say “no”. Setting healthy boundaries is a powerful way to protect your well-being and honour your needs.)
In the next blog I will share some daily habits that can help you build unshakable self-esteem. These habits will guide you towards creating a strong foundation of self-esteem that lasts.
Conclusion
Self-esteem is not a psychological concept, it is a crucial part of who you are and how you experience life. It shapes your mental well-being, your relationships, and your overall satisfaction. When you invest in building healthy self-esteem, you set the stage for a happier, more fulfilling life. Remember, you are worthy of love, respect and success, and improving your self-esteem is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
If you are ready to start your journey toward greater self-esteem, contact me to email you my free self-esteem quiz and access where you stand. You can also book a consultation with me to explore personalised strategies for building a strong sense of self-worth.
